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Naïve but well-meaning Simon Porter starts his first day as a hospital porter and is set up by stroppy colleague Frankie who charges him with delivering a dead rabbi to the mortuary. Trapped in a broken lift he gets a call from the deceased's daughter and tells her her father is still alive. When she comes to visit Simon apparently performs a miracle whilst fellow porter Tillman uses unorthodox methods with suicidal patient Mark.
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Millionaire Gary 'Hutch' Hutchinson comes to hospital needing a hip replacement after running countless marathons for charity and Lucy is beguiled by him. Meanwhile Simon impresses administrator Jane Bison with Baby Brother, an efficiency-saving tracking device but Frankie, fearing it will make her redundant, misuses it and gets sacked after Simon reports her. So, when Simon gets the chance to escort Lucy to a charity dinner hosted by Hutch she sees the opportunity for revenge, leading to public humiliation for Simon and possible dismissal. Fortunately Hutch is on his side.
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Anthony, a new porter is in town as Tillman has headed off to a religious retreat. Anthony and Frankie have form and are instantly in conflict. Lucy presents Simon with a huge engagement ring.
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Mr Pradep spends a day as a porter for charity, but Simon's awe at his god-like power causes the surgeon to lose his nerve on the eve of a big operation. A woman dressed as an orc is admitted to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction.
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Frankie winds Simon up by telling him one of the hospital wings is haunted. Police guards stand watch outside a ward where a mystery patient has been brought from prison. Will Simon survive his first night shift in the mortuary?
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Youtube megastars Ham and Cheese arrive at the hospital and start making a series of "humorous" videos about the life-saving heart op one of them is about to have. Simon spills coffee over an expensive new surgical robot.
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Simon becomes a sperm donor to raise cash, which causes him to fear the unthinkable when his mum and her new boyfriend come to the hospital for infertility treatment. A coma patient wakes up but thinks she is still a child.
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It's the annual Hospital Emergency Simulation Incident Day, but after being accidentally knocked out Simon wakes up in the middle of a real disaster. Meanwhile, Frankie goes for a secret job interview.
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