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Like the old lag that he is,Fletch knows how to play the system and takes young,first-timer Godber under his wing when they have to share a cell with the dim-witted Cyril Heslop. Fletch pretends to have flat feet to get his own shoes back but the doctor isn't fooled. He does,however,tell Fletch that the governor keeps tropical fish so,on meeting the governor, Fletch claims to be an animal lover. And is duly rewarded with a job on the prison farm,mucking out the pigs.
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Fletch is caught up in the inmates' mania for gambling and,working on the farm,has lots of eggs to use as stakes. After a falling out with fellow con Ives, Fletch plants the eggs on him for which Ives is punished and gets revenge by tipping MacKay off about an unlawful Snakes and Ladders game taking place in the coal-hole. Cue coal being emptied onto the players. However Fletch has the last laugh when he is moved to a single cell ...having bet everybody else that he would be.
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Supposedly as a temporary measure Lennie Godber is moved into Fletch's cell. As a first-timer the prison world is new to him and he misses his girl-friend. Fletch shows a kindly,philosophical side to his nature,explaining to the youngster the power of using his imagination to create prison life on his own terms.
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Fletch and Godber are members of an outside works party digging a sewerage trench in the churchyard. When Ives is stung by a bee Fletch persuades Barraclough to let him go to the pub for ointment,where of course he has a swift pint,as well as meeting the local vicar. The prisoners end up in the church,causing MacKay to believe they have all run off as they are nowhere to be seen in the churchyard. He alerts the chief officer who duly turns up to find the prisoners all present and correct, making MacKay look very foolish.
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For punishment Fletch is sewing fishing nets with McLaren,an aggressive prisoner disliked by staff and inmates both. Fletch has a plan to turn him from zero to hero,involving their going up onto the roof,where McLaren will rescue Fletch and be seen as a hero. The plan works - sort of,whilst Fletch shows Ives an obscene publication he says he found in the governor's office.
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After prisoner Warren gets a bad letter Fletch offers his welfare services to the other lads,instructing them on how to write a letter to their partners ensuring fidelity. Fletch's daughter Ingrid visits with bad news about Fletch's wife for which he gets a weekend's compassionate leave. There is no bad news - it is a ploy for Fletch to go home,spend time with his wife and watch football.
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Fletch's tin of pineapple chunks has gone missing and the culprit is Mr. Barraclough,who took them home to eat with his wife's gammon steak. He likes Fletch,as he has been a good listener on his marital problems and says he will replace the tin. Meanwhile Godber steals a tin for Fletch from the kitchen and its absence is noted by Officer Birchwood,who informs MacKay. When MacKay goes to look,however,the tin has been surreptitiously replaced by Mr. Barraclough,causing Warren to think it's a miracle. Fletch still gets taken to the governor by MacKay,leaving the tin of pineapple chunks for Godber to devour.
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Godber sends a request to a radio music show to play a record for his girl-friend Denise,but it is rejected because it is on prison notepaper. At visiting time Fletch's daughter Ingrid causes a stir as she seems to be not wearing a bra and Godber's mother tells her son that Denise has left him. Later that day Fletch is less than pleased to find Godber writing on plain paper to Ingrid.
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MacKay is transferred to another prison but Fletch's joy is short-lived when he finds that the replacement is Wainwright,an extremely harsh officer who makes MacKay look like a pussy-cat. To make things worse Fletch's ally Mr. Barraclough is transferred to the prison farm. A plan is concocted where the cons start a riot in defiance of Wainwright and Barraclough steps in to defuse the situation. Barraclough is thus seen as a hero and Wainwright resigns,to be replaced by MacKay. As MacKay returns the prisoners sing 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow'.
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Fletch is in the prison hospital,where an unpleasant con called Norris,shortly to be released, has won at gambling the possessions of Blanco,the harmless old orderly. Fletch hatches a plan involving a supposed treasure map which is 'reluctantly' handed over to Norris in exchange for Blanco's things,amongst them a radio. Some days later Fletch and Blanco hear on the radio how Norris,now released,has been arrested for digging for the buried treasure - on a football pitch.
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When Godber enters the prison boxing tournament Fletch is under orders from prison 'Daddy',Harry Grout,a con who is more to be feared than the screws, to get him to throw the fight in the second round. Fletch tries to bribe Godber with chocolate,only to be told that Godber has promised a rival of Grouty,Moffett,that he will lose the fight in the first round. In the event both Godber and his opponent throw the fight in the same round,to the delight of Fletch,the only man in the prison who was betting on a draw.
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It's Saturday afternoon and Fletch just wants to be left in peace in his cell but there are constant interruptions - Barraclough coming in for a chat,MacKay showing prison visitors around and Maclaren wanting to borrow chewing gum. An irate Fletch threatens to throw the next caller over the rails. It's the chaplain and Fletch goes through with his claim. He gets solitary. Bliss. Could they make it three weeks?
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Oily convict Harris has stolen some pills but he drops them and they land in Fletch's tea. There's big trouble from Grouty if the pills aren't replaced and,though Barraclough can provide some,they're the wrong size. Eventually replacements are found but in the mean time Fletch ends up swallowing the ones in his tea and learning that they are to cure the governor's dog's bad breath.
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When Rawley's watch is stolen the prime suspect is oily toe-rag Harris and so a kangaroo court is set up,presided over by the judge,with MacLaren prosecuting and Warren acting as the defending counsel. Harris is found Not Guilty,though he has the watch and he relinquishes it. Rawley's appeal against conviction has been successful and he leaves the prison,giving Fletch the watch as a present for being his protector. Unfortunately Harris has taken its workings out.
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Blanco is due to be granted his parole but when Fletch hears Blanco claim that he was innocent of his wife's murder all along and that her lover killed her,he believes the old man should have a free pardon instead and organizes a petition,forging Mr. Barraclough's signature to add to the list. Eventually,after threats of hunger strikes the free pardon is granted though when Fletch asks what happened to the wife's lover Blanco replies that he killed him years ago.
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Godber is doing his history O Level exam and Fletch means to help him pass by getting Warren to steal the test paper for him,which he does. However,Godber prefers to pass on his own merits and refuses to accept it. Warren spies on him and sees him peep at the paper so that,when Godber passes, he is accused of cheating. Godber refutes this,claiming that Warren,who is dyslexic,brought him the biology paper. But then Warren does think the nearest star to the Sun is in Johannesburg.
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Godber is granted his parole and looks forward to dating Fletch's daughter though Fletch is not so sure. However the parole is jeopardized due to an aggressive convict,Jarvis,who wants to pick a fight with Godber,so Fletch arranges for Jarvis to get in a fight with some other cons and end up in the cooler before he can fight Godber,whose parole goes ahead. Fletch settles down to chat with Mr. MacKay,to whom he is about to tell three things,spelled out on his fingers but he stops at the second,giving the screw a secret V-sign.
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