Buy Plebs

Rome,27 B.C. :- Young scribe Marcus falls for new neighbour Cynthia,a Briton,and to impress her,asks lazy slave Grumio to clean the dog poo from her door-step.Marcus's sex-mad colleague and house-mate Stylax is anxious for them to respond to an invitation to an orgy so Marcus invites Cynthia,trusting she will not know what it will be like.Grumio however accidentally lets slip to Metella,Cynthia's sarcastic slave,the nature of the gathering whilst Stylax is forced by his boss,Flavia,to attend. Thus Stylax ends up cage-fighting whilst Marcus must watch his landlord escort Cynthia to the orgy. Written by
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The boys are introduced to Cynthia's new boyfriend Cassius, a friendly local gladiator. Everyone's charmed apart from Marcus who hopes that, one way or another, their relationship will be short-lived. Stylax plays a prank on Aurelius which gets out of hand. Written by
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Stylax buys Grumio an erotic vase for his birthday featuring a character who bears a striking resemblance to someone nearby. Marcus has done nothing for his slave and, under pressure from the girls, suggests they swap roles for the day. Stylax hangs out with his cousin Lucretia, with whom he has an unusually close relationship. Written by
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Marcus is unhappy when Felix,part of a stray cat infestation,wanders into the apartment but when he learns Cynthia has adopted the cat sets out to pamper him,sadly overdoing it so the cat dies. Stylax meanwhile finds he has herpes and goes to the STD clinic where he falls for nurse Beatrix,though his promiscuity puts her off him. Learning that Stylax and Felix used the same scratching post Cynthia accuses Stylax of killing her cat by giving him herpes whilst Grumio's belief that he has the winning lottery ticket comes to nothing. Written by
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Mass immigration from Thrace puts the boys into contact with a sexy Thracian lodger Irina and a dazzling yellow exotic fruit, the Banana. Meanwhile, Marcus has an unfortunate encounter with an elderly war veteran.
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A soothsayer predicts a misfortune for Cynthia,making her reluctant to attend the festival of Saturnalia in case something happens to her. Marcus,hoping to use the festival to make his move on Cynthia,tries to bribe the soothsayer but she claims the future is irreversible. Following a domestic mishap Cynthia agrees to go after all but Stylax and Marcus have been roped into waiting at Flavia's Saturnalia party and take drastic action to leave. Meanwhile Grumio has a close call with a zealous priest who wants to ship him off to Cyprus as a castrati. Written by
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Marcus and Stylax win big on the chariot race but Marcus fails to get a date with Cynthia so instead he takes out new resident Amada, unaware that she is a prostitute. Stylax uses his winnings to pose as a charioteer but cannot afford an actual chariot. He tries to blackmail Cornelius, husband of Flavia, when he sees a nude woman in his house but Cornelius explains that he is a sculptor and she is his model. Marcus ends up in Cynthia's bad books when she learns he has been with Amanda, whom she is trying to evict as a bad influence. Fortunately for Stylax Amanda helps him get his chariot when he sees Cornelius visiting her and this time the blackmail is successful.
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Office colleague Aurelius asks Marcus to be best man at his arranged marriage to the virginal Drusilla and to organize his stag night ,which turns out to be a dismal affair with only Marcus, Stylax and his depressed driving instructor and workmate Claudius in the party. Grumio tags along but gets stoned on a bag of hen bane seeds given him by the landlord to sell. The group goes to the Kitty Club where Cynthia is a waitress but they are thrown out after Aurelius tries to grab Cynthia and the night ends disastrously with the lads dissuading the driving instructor from killing himself. Overall Aurelius decides that he does not want to get married after all.
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Grumio finds a baby behind the dustbins and takes her home to raise as his own, naming her Binny. Marcus is against their keeping her but is outvoted by Stylax who can claim paternity leave and engage the services of pretty wet-nurse Philippa. Cynthia, rehearsing for her one woman show about the Trojan Horse, complains that Binny keeps her awake at night and eventually even Grumio finds it too much. He takes Binny to the orphanage but is dismayed by the conditions there and brings her home. Fortunately the landlord's strong arm man the childless Davus and his wife are happy to adopt Binny.
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Grumio catches dysentery from eating an apple he picked up in a urinal but rather than pay for a doctor Marcus takes Cynthia's advice to hold a vigil with her, praying to the goddess Hygea since it allows them to kiss and he is not over-joyed when Grumio recovers. Stylax quits his job after meeting wealthy Gaius, who wants to be his patron and sponsor him as a charioteer. However, after wrongly assuming that Gaius's interest in him was sexual and fleeing from him he has to grovel to get his job back.
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On impulse Stylax buys a new slave Mushki. His efficiency and culinary skill impress Marcus but Stylax is worried that he is too attentive, bordering on the psychotic. Grumio is jealous and wanders off, getting caught and put in the slave auction but, still impressed by Mushki, Marcus is not keen to buy him back - until Mushki goes too far in taking drastic action against Cynthia and Metella, who have criticized him. Marcus has to face facts and cough up to get Grumio back.
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It?s a public holiday in Rome for the local elections. Marcus and Stylax sign up as hired clappers for wig-wearing politician Victor of the Gracchii...
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Stylax is overjoyed to see his old school-friend Fabianus, now a successful lawyer known as Fab, who gets him off a parking fine. Marcus never liked Fab and teased him at school but still attends Fab's party in his plush villa, where Stylax meets old flame Cordelia ( but fails to perform in bed with her) and Grumio accidentally breaks the phallus off a statue and takes it home. The landlord is arrested for harbouring illegal immigrants, which include Cynthia and Metella, so Marcus is thrilled when Fab agrees to represent them in court, but less so when Fab's revenge for school-day humiliation is to act as prosecutor and have them deported. At least Stylax makes use of the phallus the next time he is in bed with Cordelia.
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Cynthia needs to raise 3,000 denarii or get a job to prevent herself and Metella from being deported back to Britain so Stylax suggests she bet on his winning an illegal chariot race. Marcus manages to persuade Flavia to employ her on condition he beats up Flavia's husband Cornelius, which he fails to do though Cornelius tells Stylax how to win the race. Indeed Stylax wins and Cynthia gets her money but discovers that Marcus has been two-timing her with Metella so both girls dump him. Grumio meanwhile helps the landlord to break out of prison.
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Though anxious for himself, Stylax and Grumio to see a beast show in the arena Marcus is sufficiently captivated by the Gallic animal rights activist Delphine that he and his friends take part in a nude protest against animal cruelty. Ultimately this leads to them being thrown to a lion in the arena, along with Landlord, whose formidable mother has now taken over the building. Fortunately she has also inadvertently shown Grumio how to save himself from the lion.
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Grumio has a surprise visitor in soup salesman Justin, the father who abandoned him as a baby. Marcus is appalled but Grumio is won over by trips to the boxing match and restaurants and agrees to join his father on the road. However Justin has deserted him once and history seems likely to repeat itself. Elsewhere Stylax's girlfriend, athlete Camilla, frustrates him by putting her training before sex and Marcus, now dating Delphine, worries that she is not yet over ex-boyfriend Gregory.
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Marcus's parents visit but he is anxious to keep them away from the politically passionate Delphine and is embarrassed when they accidentally meet. Fortunately his mother Sylvia knows how to save the situation. Meanwhile Stylax falls for vestal virgin Ursula but whilst they are having sex she allows the Sacred Flame to die - a capital offence. With the guards looking for her she is lucky that Grumio's disastrous foray into cheese-making offers a means of escape.
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Grumio is spotted in the street by actress and director Iona Ruffina, who casts him as Cupid in her play 'Bastardus Rex' and Stylus, anxious to meet groupies, understudies leading man Sebastus. When Sebastus has an accident Stylax is called upon to go on stage but he is a terrible actor and Marcus is annoyed when Iona invites Delphine to go on tour with her. Come the first night things do not go according to plan - which works to Marcus's advantage.
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After they are mugged Stylax enrols the trio in a self-defence class, run by ex-legionnaire Hector, who delights in humiliating Marcus in front of Delphine. Meanwhile Grumio falls for cake baker Agatha but fears she is fattening him up to make him dependent on her. The arrival of her ex-boyfriend saves the day for both Grumio and Marcus but Stylax loses his harassment suit after Flavia insists on frisking him.
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Egyptian Ramases comes to Marcus's office on work experience and impresses with his wealth since his father owns the company, teaching Stylax and Marcus the game of jugball whilst Grumio uses his credit card in the local food hall. When Flavia protests Ramases sacks her and replaces her with Marcus but the concentration on playing jugball leaves the firm's grain store open to thieves and before long things are back to normal.
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After a row in the supermarket Grumio injures slave Terrence and has to fill in for him whilst he recovers. New master Tarquin proves to be very strict but Grumio knows how to outwit him, encouraging the other slaves to rebel. Meanwhile Marcus persuades Delphine to move in with him but, being used to communal living, she wants to share everything - including sex with Stylax - whilst Stylax himself is disappointed by Aurelius's pool party.
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Weather forecaster Strabo moves into the block and foretells an earthquake, causing a mass exodus from the city. Stylax hopes to use the earthquake to get nearer to workaholic new colleague Pandora but things do not go as planned for him or Marcus who both end up close and personal with the wrong people - before Strabo makes another, wrong, prediction.
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Ruthless entrepreneur Crassus is building a new housing estate with no regard for health or safety - which results in Stylax's death. Builder Jason turns up to reveal that he inadvertently killed Stylax due to Crassus's disregard for rules and joins with Marcus and Grumio to force Crassus to give them their own property - actually a run-down former public lavatory.
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Jason persuades Marcus and Grumio to turn their new home into a restaurant, the Crown and Toga, employing the dim Pia as a waitress, purely because he fancies his chances with her. They are slated by food critic Athena but she agrees to give them a second chance, which, thanks to Grumio's cooking, proves disastrous - as do his attempts to drum up further custom after Athena has 'gone'.
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Aurelius is running in a marathon to raise funds for lepers and challenges Jason to also compete. Marcus sees the opportunity to make money by telling race organizer Diana that he is the carer for mentally-challenged Grunio, leading to her setting up the Grumio Foundation. This backfires on Marcus when he is expected to take part in the marathon whilst Jason sets out to nobble Aurelius, in order to win a bet.
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Marcus starts to date stand-up comic Minerva and books her at the Crown and Toga with Aurelius, Grumio and Jason as the warm-up act, house band Cerberus. Unfortunately for Marcus she uses his poor sexual performance as her material whilst Grumio's departure to be a solo artist is no more successful than Aurelius and Jason's new folk duo Gemini.
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It is the Roman festival of love and Gloria asks Marcus to be her date at the Crown and Toga's couples night. Grumio attends the occasion alone but ends up devouring an engagement ring by accident. As a result only one of two romances goes smoothly.
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Marcus, Grumio and Jason take up a free trial at the new bath-house Elysium, where Grumio discovers a loop-hole, allowing them to stay indefinitely, Jason courts yoga instructress Cleo and Marcus hopes to interest businessman Evander in investing in the Crown and Toga. Unfortunately Marcus's dealings with Evander eventually lead to the trio's - nude - expulsion from Elysium.
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When the Crown and Toga is hit by a huge tax bill Marcus seeks the help of glamorous Jewish accountant Rebecca Shatzberg, though it means he must pretend to be Jewish himself. Unfortunately Rebecca's brother Simon - literally - exposes him and it is down to Grumio and his racing snail to come up with the money.
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Sibling Germanians Steffi and Lucas arrive to sell their new drink beer at the recently opened Wunderbar, whose success threatens the Crown and Toga's existence. Grumio desperately tries to find the formula for beer whilst Jason sets about seducing Steffi to the same end. He successfully steals her recipe book but Grumio's clumsiness almost puts an end to his triumph.
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The boys set off on a trip to Tuscany to buy some wine, but when their cart is involved in a collision on the road they are forced to pull in to a nearby village where they must pay for what they have done.
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Marcus offers to tutor Gloria's teenage son Barney, while Grumio is mistaken for a schoolboy and soon finds himself recruited into the under-14s boxing team.
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When the boys receive an invitation to a posh banquet by mistake, Marcus tries to curry favour with the host Senator Varus, Jason seduces bored aristocrat Rufina and Grumio overhears a possible poisoning plot.
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During a heatwave, Marcus invests in a new gimmick for the bar - ice. Grumio creates a hat/parasol hybrid that attracts the attention of Severus, a wealthy entrepreneur. Jason and Aurelius join the Knights of Eros - a male escort agency.
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To get some big drinkers into the bar the boys try to infiltrate the local firm of chariot hooligans. Grumio is welcomed by the head of the Green Army, but Marcus gets into bother with Gloria as his new clientele keep smashing up her shop.
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The boys begin an archaeological dig in their bar after Grumio unearths an old brooch whilst sitting on the loo, but the death of a professor is cause for concern.
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The boys face uncertainty when the Landlord evicts them without notice from their flat. Marcus hopes his parents, who are visiting for the weekend, will help him onto the property ladder, but his dad has other plans for their savings. Plus, Jason's smooth-talking lands him a cushy job as an estate agent.
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Jason's brother Darius is getting married and Marcus desperately wants to hire out the Crown and Toga for the occasion, while Grumio offers his services as wedding planner. But their plans are threatened when they find out that Darius is a serial jilter. Elsewhere, Marcus clashes with their lazy postman.
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