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The first series begins with the opening day of Brian Potter's new club, the Phoenix. With "TV's own Roy Walker" opening the club that night, Brian wants everything to be perfect. But a powercut that leaves the club in the dark, the theft of the bingo machine, a Nazi fruit machine, Max the doorman injuring himself and a racist folk band soon ruin everything.
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Episode 2 sees the new DJ, Ray Von accidentally killing The Captain with a faulty smoke machine. Things go from bad to worse when two men in overalls walk in off the street and steal the television set, with all of the staff doing nothing about it, except for Kenny Senior who kindly hands them the remote control. A warped Snooker table is replaced by a bucking bronco, which leads to a Wild West Night being held, it is a huge success, until the shootout between Lancashire and Yorkshire gets violent and a drunken horse tries to have sex with the bucking bronco
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Jerry St. Clair has booked out a psychic for the club, who comes highly recommended by Den Perry, with Jerry oblivious to the fact that Den Perry wants the Phoenix Club shut down. Brian and Jerry then have to attend a fire safety with Keith Lard (from That Peter Kay Thing), who is known to 'interfere' with dogs, despite being cleared of all charges. After the meeting, Jerry and Brian rush back to the club before Keith inspects it, but a run in with the police delays them and Keith shuts the club down for being unsafe. Brian, never a quitter, gets Ray Von to photoshop Keith Lard's head onto a picture of a semi-nude man with a dog so that the club is re-opened, but the event they re-open for, the psychic night, forces Brian to refund all of his guests after the psychic tells a bit more about the future than the guests would like.
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It's 'Singles Night' at the Phoenix club, and the club's house band, Les Alanos, and doormen Max and Paddy are all looking. Brian is the most successful though, when he accidentally runs over a woman's feet before buying her a drink and talking the night away. Throughout the episode, their relationship progresses, until she (Beverley) reveals to Brian that she is actually investigating him for fraudulent disability claims. Elsewhere, Paddy strikes up a relationship with Holy Mary's daughter Mary.
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This episode starts with Jerry in the hospital for his illness, before Brian argues with Jerry's decision to host an alternative comedy night, the comedy night turns out to be a disaster, with none of the entrants being good at all, at the end of it all, Jerry has a heated confrontation with some students who have disliked the show, until one of them threatens to hit him and all of the staff stick up for Jerry. Elsewhere, Ray Von hosts a Robot Wars tournament, which is won by Max and Paddy, who are using a robot built by Ray, who has a penchant for electrics.
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The episode starts with Jerry getting an all clear, however Brian tells him to keep pretending to be ill because the club got the rights to host TalentTrek because of Jerry's illness. Tensions boil when Brian has to hire a Right Said Fred tribute band called 'Right Said Frank' for the Grand Final due to Les Alanos preforming a Karate Kid musical with the local youth club on the same night . Right Said Frank end up breaking into all the cars parked outside, eventually being tackled by Max and Paddy. Brian then reveals to the audience that Jerry has got an all clear. The series concludes with Den Perry, angered at the success of the Phoenix, setting it on fire.
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The series starts with Brian's alcohol license being revoked. A broken man, Brian dreams of rebuilding the Phoenix, and visits Frank Cartwright (played by Jim Bowen), owner of Le Ponderosa, who tells him to sell bottles and cans to get around the ban, a licensee who he can manipulate and lots of facilities under one roof. Brian then goes around to find all of the staff, he finds Jerry and Alan working in Asda, Les as a butcher, Kenny Senior as a lollypop man, Ray Von at a fairground, Holy Mary in church and Max and Paddy as Elderly Asian escorts, he brings all of them together to discuss his plans, and convinces Jerry to become the new licensee.
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Reconstruction is going quite well, and a fun day is organized to raise awareness of the rebuilding, however, an inflatable that looks like an erect penis is not a success, and Brian has it nailed down into the ground and covered up, however, the penis escapes from its prison, shocking everyone who is spending their money. Elsewhere, Max and Paddy go to France to stock up on booze, picking up two Chinese immigrants in the process.
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Brian decides to get the club on Crimetime for publicity and a chance to accuse Den Perry, changes are made throughout the club to make it look good for the TV crew, but the TV show is a disaster when Brian is accused by a detective on air of burning down the club himself. Elsewhere, Spencer is hired for the vacant bar job.
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Brian comes across two Japanese people promoting their new lager, and offers them a chance to promote it in the club, an offer they accept, a pub quiz is arranged, with the winner taking home a years supply of the lager, both Brian and Den Perry enter teams to try and win it. In the other suite, Jerry's medication gets the better of him and he loses it on stage, which causes him to go into the next suite and urinate everywhere, shocking the customers.
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A powercut in Brian's home sees him stuck on the stairs all night until Jerry breaks his door down the next morning, a ladies night has been arranged, which causes Paddy to go onto the stage dressed in nothing but a fake moustache, underwear and a devil stick. Outside, Max is hired by a woman who wants her husband killed for £8000, he takes Paddy with him to do the job, shooting Max's brother Terry along the way, eventually, Max and Paddy can't kill the man and give him £3000 to leave the country, Max gives Paddy £1000, and spends £4000 on a motorhome.
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Max and Paddy spot the man they were meant to kill in town, and are confronted by his wife, who says that she has put a hit out on them, she also reveals that she paid Max £8000 to Paddy, who only received £1000. In the club, Brian has arranged Stars In Your Eyes to impress a brewery representative who is coming over, Den Perry however, has other ideas and cancels the acts acting as Jerry, however, in a memorable series of scenes, all of the staff from the club dress up to become acts, including Holy Mary as Lulu, Ray Von as Adam And The Ants, Kenny Senior as Britney Spears, Young Kenny as Meatloaf, Jerry as Eminem, Brian as Elton John and Spencer as Gary Glitter. At the end of the episode, Den Perry threatens Brian and says something about burning the club down before, unaware that Brian has recorded it all on a microphone, which the entire club has heard. At the end of the episode, Max is about to flee all over the country in his motorhome, when Paddy decides to come with him, setting the scene for Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere.
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