Buy Only Fools and Horses

Del employs younger brother Rodney as a member of Trotters' Independent Traders, despite warnings from his business colleagues. When Rodney decides to become the Trotters' financial adviser - monitoring the accounts and keeping Del's dodgy dealings in check - Del has second thoughts about their partnership. Cracks show in the partnership when Rodney inadvertently bungles a deal with Trigger. But despite Del's anger, it turns out that Rodder's advice would have prevented the purchase of 25 briefcases that are locked with the serial number inside. Del and Rodney have yet another row and 'Little Bruv' plans a career change. Desperate to make his mark on the world, Rodney decides to leave for Hong Kong - a great plan, if only he'd remembered his passport.
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Del and Rodney are once again hunting for bargains. And after stopping off at Boycie's car lot they spy a Mark II Cortina that's being used as a part-exchange for a Vanden Plas. Del knocks the asking price down to ?25, so long as he houses Boycie's E type jag for a week - Del hopes to use the Jag to impress his bit on the side. Del ups the price tag of the Cortina to ?199 and gets interest from an Australian buyer. And with cash in their pockets, a Jag to drive, and both of them single, Rodney talks Del into heading off for a night on the tiles. The Trotters' night out doesn't start too well, as they are chatted up by a pair of transvestites in a nightclub. But their luck changes in the form of Nicky and Michelle, who they manage to chat up and persuade them to write their telephone numbers on Del's cigar pack, with the promise of a date next Friday. On their way home, Rodney accidentally throws the cigar pack out of the window of the Jag, and when Del makes an emergency stop, a car smashes into the back of Boycie's pristine E-type. To top it off, the car responsible for writing-off the Jag is none other than the clapped out Cortina.
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Eager to forge new business contacts, Del befriends Vimmal Malik, a wealthy businessman who seems eager to work with Trotters Independent Traders. After a dance at the Camberwell Chamber of Trade, Del and Vimmal are cornered by Mr Ram and his heavy boys. It seems that Vimmal is holding onto a pricey porcelain family heirloom that belongs to the Ram family - and they want it back. In order to make an impression, Del offers to mediate between the two men, especially because Mr Ram is willing to pay four grand for the return of the statue to his family. Unluckily for Del the four grand is just a ruse and he ends up losing a fortune to Vimmal and Mr Ram, a couple of con men touring the country using the same scam on local businessmen wherever they go.
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Del meets Trigger in The Nags Head, and he's stunned to hear that Pauline Harris, his ex-fianc?e, is back in Peckham - twelve years after she left for America. Despite their engagement, Pauline left Del for another Mod with a faster scooter. But with her return, Del is willing to forgive and forget, and it's not long before they are engaged again - much to the disapproval of Rodney and Grandad. Things get worse when Pauline moves into the flat and refuses to do her share of the housework. As her behaviour becomes unbearable, Rodders and Gramps leave for Auntie Rose's cottage in Clacton. Del hears rumours about a recent police investigation into the death of Pauline's former husband (Bobby Finch), and when Pauline urges him to take out life insurance, a frightened Del heads for Clacton, leaving an eviction notice for his fianc?e.
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The trouble starts when Del persuades the local bus company to hand over one of their open-top buses in exchange for Rodney working as a Trainee Nocturnal Security Officer - part of their latest company, Trotter Watch. As part of the deal, Rodney has to suffer the nerve-jangling experience of patrolling the bus station on Tyler Street throughout the night. The next part of Del's scheme is the launch of Trotters' Ethnic Tours: a scenic tour around Chingford and Croydon, taking in such ethnic sights as the Lee Valley Viaduct. And despite a great deal of whinging from his family, Del persuades Rodney to drive the bus, whilst Grandad agrees to distribute the publicity leaflets. But when nobody turns up to the launch of Trotters' Ethnic Tours, it is revealed that Grandad shares the legendary Trotter business acumen and has posted the advertising leaflets through the dust chute of Mandela House.
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Another successful dodgy deal means Del has over a grand's worth of lead from a disused factory to get rid of. When Rodney points out the three tons of lead are in fact a D.I.Y nuclear fall-out shelter, Del refuses to believe him until he reads the accompanying brochure. With the threat of nuclear holocaust preying on Rodney's nerves he asks Del what he'd do if he heard the four minute warning. Without an answer, Del considers putting a survival plan into action that means reaching Grandad's allotment in time to take shelter. It's during a practice run for the Trotter counter-strike survival plan that they get stopped for speeding by the police - they never get to find out whether they'd make it in time.
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Rodney has ran out of yuletide cheer, as the annual routing of the Trotter festivities are wearing thin. Burnt turkey, charred Christmas pudding, the same old things on television, and nothing but a book lent to him by Mickey Pierce: 'Body Language: The Lost Art.' When Grandad puts on his glad rags and heads to the OAPs' party at the community centre, the Trotter boys head to The Monte Carlo Club. Rodney puts his new-found knowledge of the unspoken language of love to use, but Del Boy has other ideas. As the brothers argue over who's technique is best, the objects of their affections are whisked away from under their noses.
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Del and Grandad are horrified to hear that Rodney is dating a police officer called Sandra. But while Grandad is worried about Sandra knowing about the Trotters' sullied reputation, Del is sweating over the amount of dodgy gear stored in the flat. At the end of their date at the cinema, Rodders brings Sandra back to the flat for a nightcap. As soon as she arrives, Del spots her wearing a stolen watch that Rodney has given her as a gift. Thinking fast, he 'accidentally' pours gin over it and promises to buy her a replacement. Ever the gent, Rodney offers to walk her home, and everything appears to be forgiven. But as Sandra says goodbye, she tells Rodney he has 24 hours to empty the flat of stolen goods belonging to Trotters' Independent Traders before she notifies CID.
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When Trigger's Grandmother passes away, the Trotters gather round to offer their condolences. Ever the considerate friend, Del offers to take some of her valuables off Trig's hands - he wouldn't want just anyone to come along and rip him off, after all. Del spots two urns that might be worth a bob or two, but Rodney and Grandad agree that they must contain the ashes of Trig's Grandfather. As they remember he was an avid bowler, they decide to scatter his ashes on the local bowling green - but to no avail. A second plan to throw his ashes into the Thames is scuppered, and a passing road sweeping lorry eventually sucks them up - a poetic ending when they remember that Trig's Grandad was a road sweeper too.
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Del is getting into financial trouble - even his double-headed coin can't help him win. He's gambling away his money with no sign of stopping, and he's already ?150 down. Nevertheless, when Boycie challenges him to a winner-takes-all poker game, Del is eager to host it in his flat in Mandela House. As the night progresses, Del's luck goes from bad to worse as he ends up owing Boycie all his money, the TITCO van, Grandad's cash, jewellery and even a collection of loose change. But all is not lost, as Del finally turns the tables on Boycie in revenge for fixing all the previous card games in his favour.
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Rodney falls for Irene Mackay - a woman twice his age - and Del Boy isn't happy about it. Not only is Irene a lot older than Rodders, but she's married to a hard nut who's doing time in Parkhurst prison - and is about to be released. Concerned for his brother's welfare, Del convinces Irene to ditch Rodney. But when Rodney realises Del has been interfering with his personal life again, he goes loopy. Soon after, Tommy Mackay gets out of prison - he soon finds out his missus has been cheating on him with a Trotter, and goes looking for revenge. Luckily for Rodney, Tommy finds Del Boy first, and the elder Trotter takes the punishment for him. When a bruised and battered Del returns to the flat, he's over the moon to find out that Rodney has moved onto someone new anyway, so there wasn't really anything to worry about!
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When Del arranges a job redecorating a Chinese Restaurant, he unwisely decides to employ the services of Rodney 'Leonardo' Trotter and buys some paint from Trigger. It's also nearing the anniversary of their mother's death, and in an attempt to save a bit of cash, Del and Rodders swipe a bit of spare paint to spruce up her tombstone. While Del leaves Grandad and Rodney to paint the grease-filled Chinese kitchen with 'gold' paint, he heads off to decorate the tombstone. It's only when they've finished painting and get a call from the owner of the Chinese restaurant that they realise the paint was actually luminous yellow. Fine for the walls of a Chinese restaurant kitchen, and it certainly makes a gravestone stand out on a dark night.
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Trotters' Independent Trading Company has been forced off the market, with the continuing downpour keeping most of Peckham indoors. While drowning their sorrows in The Nag's Head, Alex the travel agent mentions that business is slow and he can't give holidays away at the moment. As a promotional gimmick, Del suggests offering an 80% discount on a holiday to the next customer in the shop - and who happens to walk by, but Derek Trotter. Having sold sun-hats in the rain, Rodders has managed to earn some travel cash, but he is dismayed to learn that the 80% discount only extends to a grotty hotel in Benidorm. And despite not being included in the bargain, the brothers reluctantly pay for Grandad to join them on their escape to the sun. During the whole holiday, Del and Rodney check out the local talent, while Grandad cramps their style. Especially when they bring two girls back to their apartment, only for the old man to scare them off with his dentures. Things get a bit more serious when Grandad gets himself arrested. Despite fearing that old history is returning to haunt him - in the form of an incident 'during the war' - it turns out that he was arrested for jay-walking and is released without charge. Much to Del's annoyance.
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Returning from an auction, the Trotters stop to help a woman whose car appears to have broken down. It turns out she is a posh sort. No less than Lady Ridgemere, wife of Lord Ridgemere who own the Ridgemere Hall Estate. Having towed the Lady to her stately home, Del overhears that the Lord of the Manor is having trouble with the firm he's hired to clean their chandeliers. He wastes no time in offering the Trotter's services as chandelier cleaners for a mere ?350. With Rodney and Del up ladders, and an old sheet the only thing between the cut-glass chandelier and the floor, it is only natural that Grandad detaches the chandelier from the room behind them. Del's fast talking excuses are the Trotters' only chance they have of escape!
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Derek Trotter has the Yuletide Blues, and drinks away his loneliness in Spanish night at The Nag's Head. There he meets Heather, who seems to be one friend short of company. Del Boy, ever the gentleman, entertains her and sees her home safely. At her flat he discovers that she has a young son, to a husband who seems to have joined a very long queue at the Job Centre 18 months ago and not come back. In no time at all their romance blossoms, and all is running so smoothly Del decides to propose. However, when he takes her for a candle-lit curry, she refuses his offer of marriage. Her husband has returned, employed as a department store Santa, and she wants to give it another go... leaving Del Boy without an angel for Christmas.
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The wear and tear of climbing twelve floors in Mandela House takes its toll as Grandad's legs finally give way. And after a visit to the Doctors' it is recommended that they seek some different housing for the Trotter family - on the ground floor! Rodney has just been elected Chairman of the Housing Committee, and with a little pressure from Del, he persuades housing and welfare co-ordinator Miss Mackenzie to move the Trotters into a three-bedroom bungalow in Herrington Road. All seems hunky dory, until Miss Mackenzie catches Del and Grandad sharing a celebratory dance and cancels the deal. An ashamed Rodney agrees to resign as Chairman of the Committee immediately.
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Rodney is taking stock of his life, and at the age of 24 he is disappointed to find he has only risen to become Del's look-out while they're on the make with dodgy goods. After a bit of soul-searching - during which Del narrowly escapes the Old Bill while Rodders was lost in thought - Rodney breaks some big news to Del that he's set up a rival business with Mickey Pearce. Shocked and hurt by this, Del warns him that if he wants to stand on his own two feet, then the price is total independence from the TITCO cash flow; including beer money. Later at an auction, Del warns his Little Bruv not to buy Lot 37, but Rodney doubts his brother's generosity - thinking that he wants the lot for himself - and he buys Lot 37 unseen. It turns out that Lot 37 is a bunch of broken lawnmower engines that Del had sold in the first place, and after Mickey Pearce uses their meagre profits for a trip to Benidorm, Rodders is soon back as a partner in Trotters Independent Traders.
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The Trotters take a trip down to Cornwall to make use of Boycie's country cottage for a spot of salmon poaching. The fishing trip should be a nice little earner with ?10 a salmon being paid for by Mario's fish restaurant. Del thinks that Rodney, Grandad and he will catch the fish and split the profits 50-50 with Boycie for providing the accommodation - they just didn't bank on an escapee from the mental institute. On the rainy journey down to the cottage, a policeman stops their Robin Reliant and warns the tourists that a patient has escaped from the institute for the criminally insane - precisely a decade after he killed a party of weekend fishermen with an axe. Never one to let a psychotic killer get in the way of a nifty bargain, Del ignores the objections of Rodders and Grandad, and they settle down for their first night in the cottage. As the storm worsens, Rodney thinks he hears noises outside, and when a face appears at the window, he's convinced it's the killer. There's a knock at the door, and the Trotters' find the institute's Chief of Security is there to reassure them - it's only later that it becomes clear that he is, in fact, the fugitive axe murderer.
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Del Boy enters the world of fine art when he attempts to pull the wool over 'posh tart' antique dealer Miranda Davenport. He unsuccessfully tries to tell her a rickety old cabinet is in fact a 'Queen Anne' original, but wise to the ruse, she coolly declines. Her attitude towards Del does warm when she responds to an advertisement placed by the Trotters in the local paper. When a painting Del has in stock catches her eye, Miranda soon worms her way into Del's affections and in no time at all, he has given her the painting as a gift. Keen to see her again, Del pays a visit to her shop, and is informed that she's at the local auction house. Arriving at the auction, Miranda seems quite surprised to see him there, but not as half as surprised as Del Boy when Lot 24 is announced. The Lot turns out to be Del's painting - a valuable work by 19th century painter Joshua Blythe that Miranda is hoping to make a huge profit on. It seems like Miranda has stung Del good and proper, but as usual, he has the last laugh when he informs her that she's actually selling stolen property.
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Del Boy's arch-enemy from school turns up in Peckham, but this time he's known as Detective Inspector Slater from the Met Police. Having known Del and his wily ways since they were at school together, Slater knows exactly who to watch when he's on the trail of some stolen microwaves. Hapless Rodney has no idea who Slater is when he gets chatting to him in The Nags Head. It's only when he sees the horror on Del's face, after bringing Slater back to the flat for a reunion meal, that Rodney realises something is wrong Despite Rodney's best efforts, the game appears to be up - one of the microwaves in question is sitting on the sideboard in full view of everybody. Slater immediately begins to question Del, and after threatening Rodney with fictitious drug charges, he forces Del to turn snitch. Much against his better judgement, Del decides to protect his little brother and spills the beans, but only after bartering for immunity for the whole Trotter family.
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When Rodney helps a drunken woman on the street, he is stunned when she looks petrified, accuses him of man-handling her, and promptly cries "rape!" Without thinking straight, and fearing the consequences, Rodders decides to leg it. Del hears about the escapade and realises his na?ve Little Bruv must have encountered Blossom, a psychologically unhinged woman who is allowed out in public on weekend breaks. Not wanting to prey on Rodney's nervous disposition, Del naturally does the humane thing and concocts a story about the police conducting a search for 'The Peckham Pouncer'. It's not long before Rodney disappears, believing he's a fugitive wanted for the worst of reasons. Regretting what he's done, Del Boy goes in search of his brother, and it's not long before the scent of 'funny fags' from the air vents of Mandela House leads him to Rodney's hiding place - in the water tank room of the same building.
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Del concocts a plan to get revenge on Brendan O'Shaughnessy for supplying him with apple white paint that was actually battleship grey. Having learnt that the Irishman is painting Denzil's flat for ?200, Del begins to lie about Brendan's reputation for drunken debauchery, and persuades Denzil that he and Rodney can do the job for a lot cheaper. Unsure about Del's motives, but keen on the saving, Denzil agrees, despite the suspicion on his wife Corrine, who is wise to Del from the very start. The Trotters' begin the job the next day, but problems arise when Rodney leaves a kettle on the boil and steams the whole apartment. As well as forking out for a new kettle, the Trotter's realise that Corrine's pet canary is dead - seemingly killed by the fumes from the paint. Grandad is despatched to find a replacement canary, and having forked out ?45 for a substitute bird, he seems to have found the ideal candidate. It's only when Corrine returns home that their scam is revealed - when she left that morning the canary was dead. The Trotters are promptly out on their ears, so they reconvene in The Nags Head, where they drown there sorrows whilst Brendan gloats over them about winning the job back. Little does he know that Del has one last trick left up his sleeve.
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Reg Trotter, absentee father to Del and Rodney, unexpectedly arrives to celebrate Christmas with his boys. Reg explains that he has been living in Newcastle, and after a visit from the infirmary, was diagnosed with hereditary blood disorder. Scared for their well-being, he decided to tell his two sons. However, several tests later, Reg is given the all clear but it seems Del Boy and Rodders have different blood types. It would seem the wayward father has some explaining to do. Reg explains that he frequently argued with their mother before they split. She had several dalliances with other men, and Del is the mystery child. Fortunately a visit to the family quack gives him news to put the smile back on his face.
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and strikes up a friendship with the lad. It's not long before Del discovers that Jason's mother, June, is an old flame who he last saw around nineteen years ago. While Del and June rekindle their romance, Rodders is dating a lovely girl from the newsagent called Debby - a fact that is seriously curtailing his dirty magazine fetish. It soon transpires that Debby is June's daughter, and it's almost her 19th birthday. Del and Rodney soon put two and two together, and decide that Debby may well be Del's daughter. It gets worse when Rodney realises that he has fallen for a girl who could be his niece. Everything comes to a head when Del finally confronts June to find out whether Debby is his daughter or not. It turns out that Debby was actually fathered by his friend Albie Littlewood, who tragically died in a cycling accident whilst he was seeing June behind Del's back.
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While the Trotter brothers try to cope with their Grandad's unexpected death, his funeral provides a surprise addition to their flat in Mandela House. Among the mourners - who have come from as far away as North London - are Del's cousins Jean and Stan, and they're accompanied by Grandad Trotter's brother, Uncle Albert. During the wake at the flat, Rodney seems disturbed by the jovial behaviour and good humour of the mourners. To distract himself he listens to salty old sea dog Albert's stories of his exploits in the Navy. As the wake comes to an end, it appears that Jean and Stan have neglected to take Albert home with them to North London, so Del decides to let him stay the night. The next day it appears that Jean and Stan have gone for good and want nothing to do with Albert. Despite feeling sorry for the old man, Del is reluctant to let him stay and ships Albert off to the Seaman's Mission. It's not long before Albert returns to the flat, as the Seaman's mission has been razed to the ground. So Del reluctantly lets the old boy move in, and a new era begins for the Trotters.
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The Trotter's have fallen on hard times, largely due to Rodney's ?500 investment in suntan lotion during one of the worst winters ever seen. To make things worse, the deep-fat fryer they sold to Mike, landlord of The Nag's Head, is on the blink and the tension brings Del and Rodney to boiling point. But throughout all this trouble, Uncle Albert, who Rodders blames for their bad luck, keeps telling them that something will turn up. As Albert leaves the pub, he accidentally falls through an open cellar door, and the Trotters' quickly come up with a way to get some cash - by suing the pub for damages. Albert's accident claim finally makes it to court, but to the shock of Del and Rodney, it appears that their Uncle has already sought 15 identical damages claims going back to 1944. Their case gets chucked out of court, and Albert admits he was using some of the tricks he learnt as a stuntman to try and help Del and Rodney pay for Grandad's headstone.
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Rodney has joined a new band, and Del immediately capitalises on this by booking them into The Shamrock Club to play for the St Patrick's night festivities. Taking his place as the band's manager, Del winces his way through their rehearsals, and when the Shamrock gig results in a fight, the band are forced to leg it, leaving the instruments behind them. When Rodney finds out the musical equipment has vanished, he contacts the police and helps them with their enquiries. When tell sees Rodney with the constable, he quickly distracts the officer and pulls Rodney aside. It turns out that Del had the instruments on sale or return, and he'd taken them back because their band was so bad. Rodney's dreams of showbiz fame have been shattered, but he goes ballistic when he sees his group performing their old hit single on Top of the Pops and realises that without Del's interference he might have made it to number one.
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In an attempt to earn an easy ?60 a week, Del persuades Boycie and Marlene to entrust him with the care of their Great Dane puppy, Duke, while they are away on holiday. Whilst out on a walk, Rodney notices that the dog is a bit sluggish, and they decide to take it to the vets. Del and Rodney think that the dog may have eaten some reheated pork leftovers for breakfast, and the vet quickly informs them that Duke has probably caught Salmonella. It's only when they get home that they realise Albert has eaten the other half of the pork, and they quickly rush him to hospital. When Albert's gets discharged from hospital a few days later, with a clean bill of health, Del boy discovers that Rodney has been giving Albert's sleeping pills to Duke, and the dog's vitamin supplements to Albert.
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Rodney is taking some stick from the lads down the pub about his 'imaginary' girlfriend, and Mickey Pearce bets him fifty that he won't bring a girl to the Saturday night bash in The Nag's Head. When Rodney admits to Del that he was lying about the girl he's going to bring on Saturday night, his big brother sets about trying to get him a date. On the Friday night, the two brothers head out clubbing, and despite trying almost every club in London, they end up in a seedy little bar in search of a date for Rodney. As luck would have it, Del boy spots Yvonne, an old flame who he knows isn't too picky who she goes out with, and he offers to pay her part of the winnings from Rodney's bet if she'll escort his little bruv the following night. When Rodney gets home from The Nag's Head on Saturday night he's in tears. Apparently, the date went well, until halfway through the evening when Yvonne takes centre stage in the pub and begins her act as a stripper - in front of all of Rodney's mates. Del boy tries to console Rodders with the thought of his ?50 winnings, but it turns out the bet was for fifty pence, not pounds.
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The trouble starts when Del agrees to provide painter and decorator Brendan O'Shaughnessy with enough louvre doors to refit an entire housing estate in Nunhead. Del's supplier, Teddy Cummings, only stocks and supplies in bulk, so it's up to the Trotters to find two grand by the next day or there's no chance of getting the doors. As usual, a solution turns up in the form of Denzil's redundancy money, which they somehow convince him to part with, only to be told by O'Shaughnessy that the doors he's bought aren't needed. And to make things worse, the doors turn out to be stolen. It's not long before Denzil and his five brothers come looking for their money, so with nowhere else to go, the Trotters visit their mother's grave - a favourite refuge for Del in times of trouble. At their mother's graveside, Rodney notices a rare butterfly from the cover of his magazine, that's worth about ?3,000 to collectors. After chasing the butterfly around the churchyard, the park and the boating lake, they finally capture it, only for Denzil to wander past and squash it.
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Boycie and Abdul pitch a diamond scam to Del Boy, who immediately turns them down. That is until they offer him a ?15,000 cut of the estimated ?150,000 sale of the stone on the UK market. Del finds himself designated as the courier between Holland and Britain. No sooner has Del enlisted a reluctant Rodders, he hears his old foil Chief Inspector Slater is eyeing Boycie and Abdul as drug dealers. Del decides to hide undetected in the back of Denzil's van. Denzil then getting in and driving them to Hull (pursued by Rodney) was not part of the plan. Thinking quickly, they hire a boat, and let Uncle Albert guide them to Amsterdam. Overcoming counterfeit cash, Albert's amnesia, it's only the arrival of Slater that scuppers them. Despite this, it's Del who has the last laugh.
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It's closing time at The Nag's Head, and Mike the landlord is having problems clearing everyone out, particularly a young pregnant foreign girl who doesn't seem to speak Peckham English. Del and Rodney offer to help, and despite Del Boy's dodgy French, they work out that Anna is from Germany, and she's been chucked out on the street and was considering getting her child adopted. They leave Rodney to take Anna to a hotel, but he ends up bringing her back to the flat, where she explains that, Spencer, the son of the family she was working for as an au pair got her pregnant and then denied it all. After fuming about Rodney bringing another 'waif and stray' home, Del Boy considers what can be done with Anna's unwanted baby - and the first person he thinks of is Boycie. For year's Marlene and Boycie have been trying for a child, with no success, and now for a mere three grand, Del is offering them the chance to have their very own baby boy. The stress is clearly getting to Anna, and she begins to go into labour. Later on Del, Boycie and Marlene all gather round in the lounge waiting for Anna and Rodney return from hospital. All is well until Rodney lets Del Boy know that the Anna's baby is a girl... and that Spencer's parents were actually West Indian.
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Feeling guilty about his dodgy lifestyle, Del has a rare religious urge and heads to the confession booth of his local Catholic church to speak with Father O'Keith. Whilst chatting with Father O'Keith, Del discovers that the local hospice, St Mary's, requires a ?185,000 renovation or it will soon close. And as Derek and Rodney's mother and grandad were both cared for there, the older Trotter takes the charitable cause to his heart. After his confession, Del is about to put some money into the Collection box when Father O'Keith cries out that the statue of the Virgin Mary is weeping holy tears. Within a couple of seconds, Del has persuaded the priest that this miracle needs publicising - something that could go a long way towards raising funds for St Mary's renovations. Father O'Keith reluctantly agrees, and Del gets Rodney to alert the national press. As press arrives from all over the world, Del helps Father O'Keith collect the contributions from all those who wish to witness the miracle of the weeping virgin. It's only when the priest notices rain dripping from the roof of the church that Del Boy's elaborate hoax is exposed.
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Del, Rodney, and Albert are mistakenly apprehended as shoplifters by an overzealous security guard at the Top Buy Supermarket. And things get worse when they're taken to the manager's office and realise that they've lost their receipt for the goods. Shortly after, Tom the security guard brings a cocky shoplifter, Lennox Gilbey, into the manager's office, where he promptly pulls out a gun and demands money from the safe. Unluckily for Lennox the safe is on a time-lock and due to the dodgy watch he's wearing, he's 15 minutes later than he planned - and the safe doesn't open until 8am the next morning. After being held hostage throughout the night, Del realises that he sold the dodgy watch to Lennox, and that he also knew him as a kid. By preying on his guilty conscience, Del persuades Lennox to reveal that the plan was hatched by Tom and the supermarket manager to get at the ?60,000 stored in the safe. The three accomplices beg Del not to go to the police, and instead, he arranges for Lennox to get a job as security guard at the supermarket after Tom's retirement, and then makes sure he wins a ?1,000 prize as the millionth customer in the store.
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Trigger's young niece, Lisa, is staying with him for a while, and the scruffy young girl that Del and Rodney remember has now become a stunning 25 year-old woman. Both Trotter brothers think they are in with a chance, and immediately begin competing for Lisa's affections. Despite almost coming to blows, Del and Rodney manage to invite Lisa round to the flat for tea, and she seems more than happy to accept. In preparation for their date with Lisa, Del goes out to get some more 'Smash' and Rodney spends half-an-hour on the sunbed. Just before Del leaves for the shops, he notices Rodney has dozed off and whacks up the heat on the bed. Much to Rodney's annoyance, he spends most of the evening nursing his bright red face, which has burnt under the ultra-violet rays, whilst Del and Lisa seem to be getting on really well. To get his revenge, Rodders picks up on the fact that Lisa mentions she was going hang-gliding, and as a surprise for his 46th birthday, he arranges for Del to have a go. After offering to give her a left back home to Winchester, Del and Rodney head off to meet Lisa's friends for a spot of hang-gliding. Not wanting to loose face, Del reluctantly agrees to try it out, and after launching himself into the air, he disappears for over 12 hours.
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Rodney's Art Class is given a ?10,000 grant to make a film spotlighting the local community, but first he has to avoid the scheming intentions of Mickey Pearce and Del Boy. Whilst Rodders suffers from writer's block, Del provides him with inspiration and a tale of a killer Rhino escaping from London Zoo and laying waste to innocent victims on the streets of the city. Rodney immediately points out the flaws in the logic behind the plot, and Del leaves him to it. But without telling Rodney, Del has already arranged for Mickey to head down to the town hall to film different couples' weddings at ?50 a time - and he has also managed to persuade half the neighbourhood to pay ?10 for the opportunity of becoming an movie extra. To make things worse, Mickey arranges for the lovely Amanda to pop round the Trotters' flat in her nurse's uniform and begin filming a 'blue movie' called Night Nurse, which is due for its premiere in the back room of The Nag's Head.
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Del's old business partner from the 1960s, Jumbo Mills, returns to the UK shores to strike a deal with Boycie, and ends up rubbing everyone up the wrong way in The Nag's Head. Jumbo has made himself rich Down Under, after leaving rainy London for Australia with Del Boy's last ?200. In an attempt to pay back this debt 'with interest', Jumbo asks Del to become the new face of his new import business - but it means a move to Australia for the Trotter family. After making sure Rodney and Albert have a place in Oz, Del Boy agrees to join Jumbo's firm, but things don't go as smoothly as that. Tired of wandering the globe, Albert decides he wants to end his days in Peckham, and it looks like Rodney's criminal record has put paid to his dream trip. Regardless of this, Del still seems keen to go, but when he picks up the phone to confirm the plan to Jumbo, he politely turns him down - reluctantly admitting that blood is thicker than water.
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Rodney meets Vicky, a seemingly impoverished artist who it transpires is the daughter of the Duke of Maylebury. Having obtained a pair of tickets to the sold-out production of Carmen, Rodders seems to have deeply impressed Vicky. She is less taken by the presence of Del and his peroxide blonde dolly bird. Especially when they open the crisps. Vicky then invites Rodney to a party at the Duke's country home, and it seems romance may be on the cards. Then Del Boy turns up, hits the vino-plonko and ruins everything for his little brother.
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Trotters Independent Trading is causing mayhem with their faulty RAJAH computers. Rodders gets a new job at a funeral directors, while Albert and Del hit the health market with their miracle cure body massagers. At the wedding of Trigger's niece, the Trotters hear the tale of Freddy the Frog, a bank robber and close friend of the boys' mother. He left everything in his will to their mum, including missing gold bullion. While Del hunts for treasure, Rodney puzzles over Freddy and his mother's 'friendship' - and a son who would by now be his own age.
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Uncle Albert's birthday looms on the horizon, and Del Boy books The Nag's Head for private drinks and a party. Trigger surprises everyone by inviting a date he met through an agency. This arouses Del's curiosity and soon he too has a date from the match-making company. Rodney takes the initiative by going for the 'James Dean' look, though this ends in disaster due to an encounter with some punks. Things look rosy for Del though. His date with Raquel Turner (unemployed actress) goes swimmingly... until it turns out she is works as a strippergram twice a week. Despite a small run in with the police, love conquers all in the end.
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When Rodney and Cassandra have another major falling out, Rodney plans to make Cassandra jealous by going on a date with someone else. Upon hearing this, Del Boy is determined to stop Rodney making a huge mistake before Cassandra finds out.
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At Damien's christening, Del does a deal with the vicar to supply 'pre-blessed' Romanian altar wine, only it turns out to be white. In an effort to get Rodney back with Cassandra Del suggests a trip to Miami, Del already having bought the tickets with Rodney's pension money. However, Cassandra has a heavy work load and is unable to get time off so the Trotter brothers do Miami together.
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The Trotters arrive in Miami, where they are spotted by Mafia Don Vincenzo Occhetti and his sons, the don just happening to be Del's exact double. The Occhettis welcome the brothers but they have a plan. Occhetti is to stand trial for several crimes. If Del is found dead and it is assumed that he is the Mafioso, the don will be in a position to start a new life. Several unsuccessful attempts to kill Del follow, as does an argument between Rodney and Occhetti, whom Rodney believes to be his brother. When Del and Rodney tumble to what is happening they go on the run but are saved by Marlene and Boycie, who are on holiday in Miami. They also supply evidence of the Occhettis' drug-dealing. Back home in Peckham Del finds the crates of wine stacked up in his flat but the television news tells him that, thanks to his efforts, Occhetti has been imprisoned.
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Raquel is nervous when she prepares to introduce her parents to Del Boy, following a long rift with them. As usual, Del is determined to make sure they have a meeting to remember. Meanwhile, Rodney appears to be struggling to come to terms following Cassandra's miscarriage. In the midst of all this, Del and Rodney may have finally struck gold when they unexpectedly find themselves in possession of a valuable watch that has been lost for centuries...
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