Buy Malcolm in the Middle

Schoolboy Malcolm Wilkerson presents his pitiful family: father Hal and bossy mother Lois, both blatant nudists, plus their litter of boys. Malcolm, the middle son, presents the eldest, Francis, as his hero, but he's really an incorrigible rebel, who had to be sent to military school. Younger brothers Reese, Dewey and Jamie are mean and play the fools, so by contrast Malcolm is a genius surrounded and domineered by zombie-relatives. School isn't much better: bully Dave Spath's bunch of ruffians look down on the scrawny smart 'wise-guy', for whom pleasing the teacher means unpopularity with his 'peers'. His only 'friend' is a fellow geek in a wheelchair. It may all change when a teacher discovers he qualifies for an honor class, but does that mean the family's first social advancement as mother hopes or total social disaster as Malcolm fears?
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When Lois finds her red anniversary dress burnt and in the toilet, she immediately suspects Reese, Dewey and Malcolm of foul play, and chases them all over the house to try and make them fess up, while Hal waits all night at the restaurant alone.
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While Hal and Lois are away for the weekend, Francis, visiting home from military school, is in charge of the house. Right away his friends come over and mess it up, so Francis and the boys clean it up to show Francis is responsible and might be allowed to leave military school and come home. All goes well...until a shelf falls on Malcolm, injuring him.
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Malcolm finds himself being antagonized by a new bully, Kevin. This kid was always mocking him, teasing him, at lunch he cut right in front of him. On pizza day! But after Kevin taunted him about it one time too many, Malcolm loses it and attacks the kid, but deeply regrets it after learning his bully was 7-years-old; Hal cuts down the huge tree in the front yard, and he and the boys have just a little too much fun with the wood chipper.
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Malcolm adores his new job of looking after the kids of a rich family, while his own family finds themselves camping out in the yard in a trailer while the house is being fumigated. Hal and Lois are constantly at each other's throats and they're all miserable, while Malcolm has the time of his life with people who seem like the perfect family. But, are they really as perfect as they appear?
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Reese takes on an impossible task in order to be allowed to stay up and watch an evil puppet, while Malcolm, finding his sleepover at Stevie's a little...safe, introduces Stevie to trouble. Hal and Lois take advantage of the boys' busy evening. Meanwhile Francis, chosen as a victim by a secret cabal of tormentors, teaches them a thing or two about torture.
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The family have to go to the Krelboyne class picnic. Malcolm doesn't want to go because he has to do an act and doesn't want to look bad in front of his family especially Francis who is home for the weekend. Francis promises to get Malcolm out of doing his act but meets a girl at the picnic and no longer wants to leave. Lois tries to fit in with the other parents unsuccessfully and Hal serves meat from the BBQ even though the Krelboynes all voted that there would be no meat. Reese ends up on the run from eraserheads brother who catches him in the end giving him a wedgie. When Stevie leaves his chemicals with Malcolm, Malcolm desperate to do anything to get out of his act tries to make a stink bomb but ends up making a level 3 toxic bomb. The picnic seems to be ruined until Malcolm guiltily goes up on stage to preform his act. Everyone is amazed by it especially his family. Malcolm fears they will all treat him differently but to his relief nothing has changed.
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When Lois gives the boys $10 each to buy her a present, they decide to get something for themselves, which causes her to have grief. When Hal also forgets her birthday, Lois decides that is enough, so she escapes until the family finally decides that they need her. Meanwhile, Francis brings home a beautiful African woman.
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Hal and Lois heads off to a convention while the boys stays home for the babysitter. Malcolm, Reese and Dewey assumed it's just another old woman, their parents hired to watch them. They decide to do a series of pranks on their babysitter, which includes the covered up sewer tank with a blanket and a book for the old woman sit on. To their surprise, their babysitter is a hot, teen-aged girl named Patty. She is sweet to them, but also bitter because she was rejected by Francis, a long time ago, because she was obese. Now the boys compete against each other to see who will prove their eldest brother wrong in his rejection and sleep with her without sex. Meanwhile at the convention, Lois tries in vain to stop the fight between Hal and Jack, who stole his idea.
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Malcolm accidentally hits a ball into grouchy old Mrs. Griffen's yard and, when going to retrieve it, he has a run-in with the old lady, accidentally making her fall and break her ankle. As punishment, Malcolm must go over to Mrs. Griffen's house every day after school to help her out; Dewey begins carrying a purse to school rather than a back pack; Francis must deal with his screw-up friend Richie at military school.
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In this special episode, we see what would happen if Lois took the kids bowling and what would happen if Hal took them bowling. Lois keeps the kids under tight watch, making Malcolm's night miserable, since he's the worst bowler in the group; Hal is on the verge of a perfect game, Reese ticks off the wrong guy and runs for his life, and Malcolm finds a girl who is attracted to him.
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In this episode Kraig still lives in Louis and Hall's house, because his one had been burnt down. That costs a lot of things on the whole family. Meanwhile, Malcolm and his brothers find a mini-bike in the garbage. At first they argue with each other, but after their mother banned the use of the bike, they join forces against her. At the same time Hall goes to Allabama to visit his son Frencis for the Fathers-and-Sons meeting, where he expects some great achievements from his son. But what will happen after all that ?
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It's another Wilkerson family Christmas- Reese, Dewey and Malcolm misbehave a time too many, so Lois moves the tree and all the presents to the garage, which she called, "holding Christmas hostage". While Francis, much to his chagrin, goes to Canada to visit Grandma Ida, whose Christmas spirit was running on empty. Much like her gin bottles.
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Hal has finally made a deal with Ed for the boys to have their own computer. Unfortunately, it doesn't come without favors. They find out that Ed is a philanderer and has a ton of undeleted e-mails from the women in their neighborhood to prove it. Reese sees this as an opportunity to blackmail him to his own twisted scheme. Then, Hal decides to coach Dewey's losing team into better soccer players. Meanwhile, Piama is fed up with Lavernia mistreating Francis, and decides to make her pay for it. She steals her precious parakeet and holds it hostage until Lavernia treats her husband better.
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Today is Malcolm's birthday and unfortunately he and Reese are in a long prank war against each other. Meanwhile Francis does battle with a legend about an evil cow at the Grotto Ranch and Hal is forced to enlist Craig Feldspar to help him with a comic book present.
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Malcolm is fed up with the fact that every time he complains, something wrong happens. He has recently got kicked out of the basketball team and vows not to complain anymore. He receives good results in no complaining. He recently gets back on the team, sedates Lois' anger by not taking back to her in a mean way, and the respect of his girlfriend, Nicki who shares a kiss with him. Next, Hal decides to be a speed waker and early on gets competition with a local walker. Meanwhile, Reese wants to take Alison to a concert and the only driver he gets is Craig Feldspar. However, he has plans of his own for his two passengers, a hay ride and a bonfire dinner. Alison is fed up and pepper sprays him and threatens to give Reese the same treatment if he doesn't let her go her own way. He's pissed off as Craig plays his ukulele and sings a song from Air Supply.
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It's another family Thanksgiving, as Reese cons Hal and Dewey to help him out with the cooking. Francis and Piama are also there, but they're not even speaking to each other. Lois tries to intervene, but it goes nowhere as Hal prevents her from intervening. Soon after, all the family members start arguing with each other, claiming that this is the worst Thanksgiving ever. Meanwhile, Kirsten has invited Malcolm to her house party. He's having a blast without his family dragging him down and calls it the best Thanksgivng he's ever had in his life.
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Grandma Ida makes another conjugal visit at the Wilkerson house. This time she isn't alone as she walks in with her beau, Mr.Li a wealthy, widowed Chinese man whom she met at a cruise. Hal and the boys see this as an opportunity to get Ida off their backs once and for all. But Lois thinks that her mother is up to no good as usual. Meanwhile, Malcolm has just got his tongue pierced, but it gets infected right away so he can't say any words that involves an "s" in them. On the day of his grandmother's wedding, he confirms his mother's suspicions when he finds anti-depressant pills in Ida's bag.
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Lois' younger sister, Susan makes a surprise visit to the Wilkerson house. Immediately, she treats Malcolm, Reese and Dewey like the sons she wishes she had with Hal instead of being single and alone. She also treats Lois as a plague in her life and blames her for being unmarried status. She tells the boys that ever since she caught their mother having sex with their father, she has refused to accept their relationship. However, Susan is plagued with a kidney disease and Lois tries to over hers for her sister.
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Reese storms out and gets his own department. Francis uses the opportunity to blame Lois for all the issues in the family and Malcolm is forced to coach a jock who gets every free break in the world. The new found independence for Reese leads to an unheard of 'A', but, naturally reality comes home to bite.
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Lois has just found out that she has a half-sister named Roberta and brings Reese, Jamie and Malcolm with her to meet their aunt and cousins. Her step-mother, Sylvia comments that she looks exactly like Victor and gives her a warm welcome. Despite some nervous moments between them, they're getting along great. Lois thinks it's going to a nice, quality time with them until a furious and vengeful, Ida arrives at the house to spoil everything. She has lost the court case and demands for Victor's pension from his secret family. Meanwhile Hal and Dewey plan to go racing together, but things doesn't go as great as they expect.
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When Reese visits Beth at her house, he finds out that she's cheating on him with Malcolm. Distraught, he runs away and joins the Army with the other broken hearted males. Meanwhile, Hal is arrested by the FBI, for refusing to testify against his former co-worker for various dishonest acts against the company he works for. Lois is on the brink of insanity and she loses her job as a result. She gives into her insanity and takes a cold shower with her clothes on. This forces Francis and Piama to be the disciplinarians and the breadwinners of their family. Malcolm is ridden with guilt for what happened and tries to find Reese by himself. Then a unidentified officer ridden with cancer, decides to help clear Hal's name.
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Hal Wilkerson's trial is underway and the prosecution has a strong case against him. What's even worse is that the agent who was going to save him, testifies against him. It turns out he was using Hal all this time and it looks like he's gong to have the guilty plea. Evenutally, Malcolm realizes that his father skipped work every Friday and convinces him to testify on his behalf. During that time, Lois is sinking further into her insanity and makes paper pigs, instead of trying to defend Hal. Meanwhile, Reese starts using his head in an army simulation and reminds his teammates that they're not in jail, but grounded. He uses his expertise on the times that his brothers did to him over the years and wins against the blue team.
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Lois returns to work at the market as a probationary employee and takes offense at the racist advertising standee for malt liquor. She hopes Malcolm will see her point of view but he is resistant and this leads to a battle of wills between the two. Hal is involved in another battle of wills; this one with the Garbegeman.
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When Lois comes out of the store and catches the boys vandalizing a suggestive billboard from a strip club. Malcolm decides to challenge her by changing the display to "I Want Respect", thus starting protest against it. Everyone in the lot believes them and follows the ruse. However, Lois doesn't believe them and thinks they're just being hooligans as usual.
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Hal Wilkerson has a hard decision on his hands, one of the neighbors has been in a coma and he has to decide whether or not to keep him on life support or pull the plug. He's always turned to Lois to make decisions for him. After another argument between the nurse and the doctor, he ends up paralyzed from the waist down. Meanwhile, Craig enlists Reese, Malcolm and Dewey to help him fight dirty against a childhood bully, who is indeed his estranged, healthy father.
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When Grandma Ida visits the family once more, she ends up saving Dewey's life from being run over thus having her leg amputated. Lois forces Francis to take care of his grandma as he's unemployed. Meanwhile Reese and Malcolm decides to go three days without sleeping on the grounds that one of them will be super glued if he fall asleep. Dewey tries to have a leg funeral after feeling bad about what happened to Ida.
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When Malcolm's arch nemesis and former teacher, Mr.Herkabe, crosses the line and hurts Reese's feelings too many times. He decides to pay him back for hurting his brother by revealing his former teacher's awful secret. He had flunked Gym and lied about it. Becauses of that truth, the Principal decides to strip him of his trophy and hand it back to the one who passed gym, despite her blindness. Meanwhile, Hal gives Dewey a ton of wrong advices to a girl he likes.
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Ida brings her maid along whilst sitting for her Lois, and decides that Reece is ready to become a man, and he must compete in numerous tasks, in which, if he is successful, he gets the maid as his wife, but there is nobody to compete against, so Malcolm is drawn into the competition.
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Malcolm has the chance of a highly lucrative career in computer software, but the offer is blocked by his parents, who have higher goals in mind for him - as the first US President to actually understand the plight of the underdog. Fate also has a surprise turn in store for Lois and Hal: in the final scene, she exits the bathroom with what appears to be a positive pregnancy test in her hand; cut to "ext. house", cue screaming and fade to black.
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